Pity Party, Table for One

12 Sep

Whoooo boy, this last week was a rough one.  Remember this?

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This darn slide was the cause of my demise.  After hurtling off it with Abby on my lap and jamming my feet into the ground, my back was really sore.  That was Friday, and each day after it got progressively more sore.

Initially I did my physio exercises, used my TENS and some Tylenol.  I added in Robaxacet and voltaren cream as it got worse.  By Wednesday I was beside myself with tears and had to call Ty and ask him to come home and help me.  I had tried to get a doctor’s appointment with both my family and sports med doctor’s, but no luck.  Finally, we decided to go to the emergency room.

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I hate going to ER, because I feel like unless it is actually an emergency, I don’t need to go.  Ty had offered to take me a few times, but finally when I couldn’t find any position to sit, stand or lay in without a huge amount of pain, I gave in and decided to go.

I was seen by Dr. Mackey, and he was amazing.  For one, he instantly acknowledged that he could tell I was in a huge amount of pain.  After talking a little bit about my prior injury (that I assume I have aggravated again) he point blank asked me what I thought I needed. I pretty much started to cry, because I hate asking for pain killers and told him as much.  He was very comforting in that he reminded me that I was asking for them because I was in a significant amount of pain, and not because of a drug addiction.

He did a quick exam that almost made me faint because of the pain, and then a former classmate of mine delivered a sweet injection of morphine and gravol for me.  They also sent me with some Percocet to go and he personally called my doctor so I could get an appointment the next day (where I got more pain killers and an anti-inflammatory).

I have to be honest, I consider myself to have a pretty high pain threshold. I delivered two children naturally, and this back pain had me begging for mercy.  I cried pretty much all day Wednesday and Thursday and felt so helpless.  Then, once I started taking the Percocet I started feeling better, but I was stoned.   I could not function properly at all and felt like I was underwater.  I basically felt like a giant loser who couldn’t do anything for anyone.

This might not come as a surprise, but I am an incredibly stubborn person and I don’t like not being able to do things for myself.  That, coupled with feeling drugged, was really hard emotionally.  Tyler took over full care of the kids and the house, not to mention me.  He ran around town, cleaned, cooked, bathed the kids, brought me pills and rubbed my back.  We were worried, because he was scheduled to leave on a boys trip this morning.

Luckily I woke up with a lot more mobility. I was having a good amount of pain still, but finally able to get off Percocet and stepped down to tramacet.  The girls have been angels and Abrielle has been especially sweet and helpful.  I received 7 texts this morning from family and friends reminding me that they were a phone call away if I needed help.

Today got better and better as the day went on and the girls and I were able to enjoy some sun, a chat with my sis in law and Abby and I even snoozed together while Grace napped too.  I couldn’t make a girls dinner but am hopeful that I can actually drive somewhere and leave the house tomorrow!

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Overall, this is a blip on the radar and what it shows me is how amazing my support system is.  I have so many friends and family who were willing to drop everything to help me out.  Also, I cannot say enough about my husband.  I probably thanked him a gazillion times for all of his help and for putting up with my crazy emotional mess of a self, and he always shrugged it off as if it was no big deal.  I feel so blessed to be surrounded by such support and love.

Choosing Happy

8 Sep

One of the benefits of working night shift is that if you aren’t run off your feet, you can have great in-depth conversations with your coworkers.

The other night we were discussing the whole “grass is greener” scenario and how we have made different choices in our lives than others.  For myself, that centers on not working full time.  As of right now, working full time on my floor is not really an option but working full time as a nurse is.  I am unwilling to give up my dream job for a moment in time where I can make more money.  Being a pediatric nurse makes me happy, and I choose happy over money.

A reoccurring theme is that I don’t like my house, but I do like my mortgage.  I also like living next door to my in laws who are overly generous with their time in regards to the girls and are so supportive of us.  Living in this house also gives me the freedom to be a part time stay at home mom and be present most days for my girls.  This time with them makes me happy, and I choose happy over a nicer house.

Whether it is motherhood or age, I find I am now more willing to let go of things that don’t serve me.  I use to be a true people pleaser and often put myself in the backseat, only to later potentially feel slighted.  Whereas I hope to always retain a spirit of kindness and generosity, I feel like I am coming more into my own and looking inwards into what personal needs I can fulfill.  I am starting to put myself first more  and while this use to be hard to do, I find that doing so in balance has made me a better wife, friend and mother, and this makes me happy.  I chose happy over status quo and a lost sense of self.

I not only choose happy, but also choose to define what it means to be.  What makes me happy could be absolute misery for someone else, and I am completely accepting of that.  This is my reality, and I am content with it. 

I use to read articles about how great it is to be in your thirties and I would think “yeah right” but I totally get it now.  Along with age, I truly feel a new confidence and sense of inner peace that I didn’t really know alluded me in the past.  Life as a whole doesn’t really look like I thought it would 10 years ago but it feels better than I could have ever imagined.  So while all the t’s aren’t crossed and I’s neatly dotted in this life of mine, it is still a happy one. 

And I choose happy over anything else that life could offer.

23 Months

1 Sep

Gracelyn,

Your last month before you are two…how are you growing so quickly?  So little baby is left and a full blown toddler is emerging.

Baby girl, you are a smart cookie.  You talk, and talk and talk and make observations constantly, such as “Mama have blue eyeballs!  Gracie have blue eyeballs too!”.  You love identifying similarities and pointing out animals, objects and colours.  Our drives are punctuated by exclamations that you saw birds, cars or “bob dee builders”.  You ask a ton of questions, such as where people are, where we are going, or randomly this afternoon what day it is.  I think you are a baby genius, because you add qualifiers to your sentences such as “again”, “too” and say things like “maybe”. I am so proud of your big vocabulary and am pretty sure we have your sister to thank for that.

You have the funniest little expressions that you have picked up, such as “aces” and “nailed it”.  You are wildly funny and know it, so after you tell a joke you usually bray with exaggerated laughter.  You and your sis love to trash talk each other and it kills me to listen to you both (jokingly) call each other toot faces and then dissolve into giggles. 

You transitioned absolutely beautifully into your toddler bed without a single issue.  You even wait for me to come get you out after naps and in the morning!  You have been in a booster seat at the table for a while now and won’t let us put the tray on anymore, so you are right up to the table, just like big sis.  You use only regular cups now (bye bye sippies!) and adorably ask to be excused before leaving the table.

I got off my lazy bum and actually started potty training you two weeks ago (just before we left for vacation…not so smart of me!). By day 3 you were almost completely accident free.  We backslid a bit on vacation because I didn’t want to make a mess in the condo, but you have very few misses during the day.  You tell us when you need to go and refuse to sit on the little potty anymore.  Go big or go home!

Soother is next…it is exclusively for bedtime now and I think we will pull that in the next week or two.  One thing at a time!

Right now you are loving playing with babies, pretending to be a puppy, doing and saying exactly what Abby is and generally getting into mischief and climbing on things you shouldn’t.  You are a little Tasmanian devil of energy and are so much fun to be around.  I do not know any other child that has such a grab life by the balls attitude, but you wake up with gusto, ready to make the most out of your waking hours.

Little miss, I love you immeasurably.
Love,

Mama

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Birthday Weekend

17 Aug

This weekend I celebrated the 10th anniversary of my 21st birthday and ohmygodthatisalittledepressing! But, here is the scoop: as much as getting older sucks, the alternative is you don’t, and that is far worse.

My birthday was on a Friday, and it started off with kisses and birthday wishes from Ty as he headed off to work and then a sleep in and snuggles with my girls.

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Abby woke Grace up to tell her it was my birthday and both sang me several rounds of Happy Birthday.

We had a lazy breakfast, a Starbucks run and a quick trip to the mall before heading home for naps.  I scored some new outfits for the weekend at a great price and replaced yet another pair of pink flip flops that were chewed after being left outside by the trampoline.  Good thing they are $2 at Old Navy!  The girls napped and I received a beautiful delivery from my Dad

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When Ty got home he and the girls spoiled me with gifts.  We always let the girls pick gifts at the Dollar Store for one another, and their selections never disappoint.  This year I got a feather boa, bouncy ball, rubber snake, two stuffed animals, a hottie whistle and a 60th bday necklace.

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Ty got me some run gear and a gift card for me to pick some things for myself too.

My Mom took the girls and we went to my favourite restaurant, Plum, for dinner.  Plum is a small wine bar that has an amazing chef, local ingredients and amazing food.  I call in advance because they have a small fixed menu and they always accommodate a vegan preference. 

We started with drinks and appies; I had a chilled peach chipotle soup and a mojito and Ty had sliders and a beer.  For dinner he had ribs and I had a tabouleh and garbanzo party in yellow tomato, corn and pine nut gazpacho with a glass of red.  Ty finished with a chocolate pannacota with peanut butter ice cream and brulee bananas and I had a martini.  Sooooooo amazing.

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After, we went to telegraph for drinks and then later Mojos for a few more with my brother and his girlfriend.

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Saturday was my party, hosted by Mike and Richelle.  The guest count was pretty small but I had such a fun time!  We drank too much sangria, ate way too much food and took a ton of selfies.  We laughed our heads off at Tyler and Jeremy’s rubber arm dancing, relearned the hustle and the cabbage patch, and found out that to make spring rolls you need to go back to 1986.  We topped of the (at this point) morning with a hot tub and then had breakfast after 4 of us slept over!

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Eating my birthday cake before the candles were even lit!

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How many chins game!

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I had a great birthday and was beyond spoiled with gifts, love and well wishes.  I feel beyond blessed to have such great friends, most who feel like family, and that members of my blood family are among my closest friends.  I have a husband who I adore (and I get the impression he is somewhat fond of me), two little girls who are treasures and an amazing and supportive family and family in law.  I get to wake up each morning in a house that is brimming over with love, and work at a job where I am challenged, motivated and inspired.  I am a lucky, lucky girl :-)

“Don’t Worry Mama, It Will Dry”

6 Aug

Today we didn’t have much on the agenda, just some grocery shopping and then we were going to check out my friend’s new food truck Fries and Dolls.

We made some loose plans to meet my Mom and a girlfriend there, and ended up running into half of the people we know in Lethbridge.  It was a sweet little rendezvous as we made the painful decision of what to order (it all looked soooo good).

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We decided on our orders and my Mom took the girls to the park across the street to get some shade while I waited for the food. Side note: I am in love.  I ordered the Sandra D- sweet potato fries with brown sugar, cumin and cinnamon.  Ahhhhhhhmazing!  If you are in Lethbridge please do yourself a huge favor and check them out! We ate and chatted while the kids alternated between eating and running around.

The park downtown has a small splash pad, and after eyeing up Abby told me she was disappointed we hadn’t brought suits.  I thought about it for a half second and told her she could run through in her clothes if she wanted, assuming she would get somewhat damp.

After thinking it over (and requesting to go naked) she took off for the water.  Gracelyn followed, but naturally avoided the jets.  They ran around in the grass and had a great time.

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It feels so good to just say yes sometimes and let kids do exactly what they were meant to do…enjoy life.  I loved watching the thrill and joy on my girls’ faces as they ripped around and as Abby got soaked.

So, Miss Abrielle got more than a little damp.  She was so soaked from head to toe that her skirt was almost falling off from the weight and she was dripping.  She assured me “Don’t worry Mama, it will dry”, and I couldn’t help but think that was the perfect mindset.  Certainly, it is not ideal to have a saturated child in the car right be for naps, but it truly just is water. I need to take a lesson and seize the day a little more, a la Abby.

Gracelyn at 22 Months

5 Aug

Angel,

You creep closer and closer to two and further away from the tiny newborn that you once were. I keep thinking back to all the things we were doing awaiting your arrival at this time two years ago. Now it feels as though you were always a part of our family.

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You are such a little force to be reckoned with and are so fun to be around. You love to sing, and you are my favourite duet partner. You love Ho Hey, You Are My Sunshine, Let it Go and That’s What’s Up. You are beyond adorable when you sing and love to boogie around while you do.

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You are such a jokester, and love to make butt jokes…along the lines of ” baby butt! AHAHAHAHAHA! Yeah, baby butt!”. Class act through and through. You love to dramatically say no after asking me for kisses and try to duck them.
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You are beyond smart and can sing most of your ABCs, count to 20 and know most of your colours. You are so observant and can always tell if we are getting close to home. You love to do “yoyos” (yoga), swing from anything and everything (especially the island and the treadmill) and run. You sport numerous scrapes and bruises at any given time.

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You adore swimming but despise spray parks. I think it might be the unpredictability of the jets? You are such an outdoor baby and are a champ at camping. At home you love riding your bike, going on the “bouncy” and doing chalks. You love stickers and colouring and helping clean up when we are inside, and your favourite show is Bo on the Go.

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Grandma and I took you to your first movie this month and you lasted through a good portion of it (basically until your popcorn ran out) and then wanted to walk around. Maybe we will try again when you are a little older. You just surprise me daily at what a big girl you are becoming!
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Sweet girl, you have a hair trigger temper still. You are prone to melt down at the drop of a hat, but redirect quickly thankfully. You definitely have an opinion, and thankfully you have lots of words to tell us what that is. It seems there aren’t many words you dont know anymore, and I love listening to you and your sissy playing and talking together.

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Sunny Days

28 Jul

We have been blessed with such a beautiful summer to date.  The girls and I have been soaking up as much sun as possible and taking advantage of a more relaxed schedule.

Today we met up with some girlfriends and littles and went to one of my favourite summertime locations, the Robinpick Berry Farm.  It is about 15 minutes from town and has a corn maze, petting zoo and some play equipment. It is a family run business and where we had Abby’s 2nd Birthday party.

We got there a little after 10 after a necessary coffee stop and turned the kids loose.  Gracelyn loved the animals but wasn’t keen on feeding or petting most of them.  It was so neat to watch Abby this year, because she was so brave with the animals and let them eat out of her hand.

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Feeding bunnies

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Gracie was pumped to see the "hops"

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Gracie and Abby were most in love with Pork chop, the pig.  They giggled and fed him forever, and made two return visits.

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Gracelyn also made several requests to see the “baybee goats” and fed the baby only out of her hand. 

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Freaky thing

The girls also enjoyed a ride on the cow train (I was actually a little shocked Gracie went on by herself) and Abby conquered the slide that bucked her off last year with no trepidation.

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After snacking on some treats and visiting with our friends, we hit the road.  Naturally, the girls fell asleep on the short ride home and Gracie didn’t even wake up to be put in the crib.

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Days like today remind me that I have all the time in the world to make more money and work more hours.  While there are so many areas of our lives we could put more income, I cannot put a price on spending time and making memories with my precious girlies.  I am so fortunate to have a career that lets me have the best of both worlds.

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